To keep a man attracted to you, play hard-to-get. This may sound like standard relationship advice but in reality women misunderstand how to play hard-to-get. If a man asks you out and you try to avoid committing to a date, you will only frustrate him and cause him to guess why you’re avoiding him.
Women are pretty astute when it comes to figuring out how guys think and act but they can still be somewhat clueless about certain things. In reality women know most of these things, but they tend to ignore them and secretly hope they aren’t true. Well, guess what? Hoping something isn’t true doesn’t make it so. With that said, are you ready for a heavy dose of reality?
10. Men don’t just WANT sex, they NEED sex.
Sex is as important to a man as food and sleep are. When you deny a man sex to get back at him or to teach him a lesson, you risk doing more harm than good and he will eventually seek it elsewhere, often with somebody he subconsciously knows will be particularly hurtful if you find out.
9. Immediately after sex, a physiological reaction causes men become emotionally detached from their partner.
It’s also the reason men get tired, fall asleep, and don’t want to cuddle immediately following sex. Don’t take it personally. It’s just a chemical reaction and is unrelated to his attraction to you.
8. Men think about having sex with every woman they meet.
When a man meets, sees, or even thinks about a woman, he will consider what sex would be like with her. The more attractive the woman, the longer and more vivid the fantasy will be. A man will do this upon meeting everybody from a complete stranger to your grandmother to your younger sister, and while his thoughts of a sexual encounter may be fleeting, he will still consider it even if only momentarily and subconsciously. Most of the time these are idle thoughts which a man would never seriously consider entertaining, nor would he ever admit to them, but rest assured he has those thoughts.
7. The more you point out other attractive women to your man, the more he will be attracted to you.
While this may seem counterintuitive, what women don’t realize is that two things happen when they point out other attractive women to their man: First, he will be relieved that he can be free to appreciate attractive women in your presence, with your full knowledge and consent (although it may take several instances over time for him to come to this realization). Second, he will entertain the thought that you might be attracted to those women yourself, and will fantasize about having a threesome. As long as these fantasies remain a possibility in his mind, he will be happy. If he brings up his fantasies about your attraction to other women and hints about making them a reality (such as in a three-way relationship) you don’t have to feel pressured to do so; simply tell him no, while still hinting that it’s always a possibility.
Don’t make the mistake of asking your man if he finds somebody attractive who it would be socially unacceptable for him to be attracted to (e.g. a much older or younger woman), or somebody who would threaten your relationshipe (e.g. your sister).
6. When you ask a man what he is thinking, usually he will give you a vague answer to hide the fact that he is thinking about sex.
A man thinks about sex more often than even he realizes. If he is forced to confront or admit this, he will become incommunicative and will tend to shut down. If you feed him leading lines such as, “Honey, are you thinking about me again?” he will be glad for the opportunity to give you the obvious affirmative answer. Only you have to know it’s a game.
5. To keep a man attracted to you, play hard-to-get.
This may sound like standard relationship advice but in reality women misunderstand how to play hard-to-get. If a man asks you out and you try to avoid committing to a date, you will only frustrate him and cause him to guess why you’re avoiding him. Rather, you should play hard-to-get only while in his presence. This means accepting his sexual advances at a slower pace than he is expressing them (but never ignoring or rejecting them entirely), as well as making sexual advances towards him and then being slow to acknowledge his reciprocation. In other words, lead him along at your pace, not his; your pace should be slower than the one he wants.
4. A woman’s clothing, hair style, perfume and makeup do little to attract a man.
Certainly those things can help make a woman more attractive, but what men are really attracted to is a woman’s personality. The more self-assured and coy a woman acts, the more attractive a man will find her. You could dress in a potato sack and wear no makeup at all, but if you act like you enjoy keeping a secret, and don’t act too interested in man, he will find you irresistable. This is very much related to #5 above (playing hard-to-get).
3. All men are pigs.
They all look at attractive women. They all fantasize about having sex with other women. Even the “nice guys” do this. Once you understand that their doing so isn’t a threat to your relationship, you will be much happier.
2. Men bristle when you mention any of your past relationships.
Men like to harbor the fantasy that they are the only man you have ever been with, even though they know full well it isn’t true. Men are threatened by any thought of your having had a relationship with another man. This extends all the way back to high school. If you mention your 3rd grade crush to your current husband or boyfriend he will feel threatened even though it was a harmless crush that happened decades ago. While these are not rational thoughts, nonetheless it’s how men think.
1. Sex is a job that men enjoy and strive to succeed at.
While men enjoy sex, they also consider it their duty to please a woman, and if they don’t succeed in doing so they consider it an unsuccessful encounter. That doesn’t mean your man feels he has to necessarily bring you to climax; if you’re not in the mood, simply tell him so, but be prepared to service him if you want to keep him happy.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
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