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Cheta Nwanze: Why we love foreigners but hate each other

by Cheta Nwanze

Chxta Frontpage

The Pension Reform Bill crucially, recommends at least 10 years in the clink, and a refund of 3x the stolen amount, for anyone who touches money belonging to our old. I never thought I’d say this, but way-to-go our gavels!

The reason that I don’t like you is that I’m Nigerian, and if you’re reading this morning tonic, you most probably are. According to the writer, Adewale Maja-Pearce, “Nigerians themselves are hospitable to foreigners. It’s one another they don’t like.”

That bitter pill, is one that I agree with most of the time. However, I have to in the spirit of fairness, point out that every once in a while, some people in this country surprise you with great deeds. The lack of self-love that Mr. Maja-Pearce refers to is manifested in the fact that our aged routinely get to queue under temperatures that will fry an egg, some dying in the process, only to be buried in conditions that are not fit for a dead roach. Let’s tell ourselves the uncomfortable truth: most Nigerians sadly, have no love for one another, which is why rumours of a Muslim-Muslim ticket made Uncle FFK swoon back into the Prez’s waiting arms without so much of a question as to whether this Muslim-Muslim ticket could actually best for his countrymen.

But it is not all gloom and doom as our Senate have shown. Yesterday, the gavels passed a Bill which may probably end up being the most important Bill this particular class of Senators will ever pass. The Pension Reform Bill crucially, recommends at least 10 years in the clink, and a refund of 3x the stolen amount, for anyone who touches money belonging to our old. I never thought I’d say this, but way-to-go our gavels!

Still on self-love, the lack of it is always evident in the way our armed services treat one another. Enjoy this 10 second clip of a single soldier, err, practising for World Cup participation with two LASTMA officials. I hope Big Boss, or better still the Special one at ¢h€£$k¥ will take note…

Speaking of Big Boss, a little argument ensued on Twitter yesterday concerning him. Was Big Boss right in snubbing the NFF for a sponsor’s event in Lagos? In all honesty, to my mind, yes. Sponsors will feed his family. The NFF will delay his salary, and despite promises made on the pages of papers, actually have form in breaking such promises.

Wage delays, as I explained in a version of this morning tonic back in March 2013, are normal around these parts. It can all be traced back to a lack of self love.

By the way, what has happened to the Bill passed by the Reps back then to criminalise wage delays?

Bits and bobs

  • Back home yesterday morning, power was finally restored. For three hours. Nothing to worry about though, service has returned to normal. The power grid has simply collapsed.
  • In Kwara, the good news is that Jafar’s new wife, Rukayat, had a baby for Jafar. The bad news is that there are two husbands involved.
  • Following all the payments that former Intercontinental blazer, Eras Akingbola has been ordered to make, one wonders whether he will have enough left in his piggy bank to sort out the latest billN212 billions!
  • Unable to find friends to chat up, probably because of the 14 year rule, Sali Malu, in Ipaja, drugged a fellow gate keeper, then had his way with him.

Right of Reply

Foluso Olorungbon wrote,
Many thanks to NOI’s “superb Okonjonomics”, Nigeria’s generator-driven, corruption and poverty-infested economy is now the largest in Africa!!! So much for the power of “rebasing”…
Chxta responds,
Nna no abuse my ichafo o. They brought light yesterday finally. For three hours…

Kella wrote,
Mr chxta,I believe u have taken ur national cake and dat y u ran away. Its good u have exhausted d cake. At least we have u now…. Lol… Miss u… Island B.
Chxta responds,
Bone that side. You no know say once u don enter d cabal there are always new ways to access the national cake? Just ask Uncle FFK….

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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