by Easy Good Health
After a break up there are usually two scenarios. One, you both part ways and never speak to each other again and two, your ex suggests that you remain as friends. When the second option occurs its normal to wonder why your ex still wants to be friends, especially if they are the one who ended the relationship in the first place.
Sometimes it’s great to be friends, but if either of you still care for the other, such a proposition can give them false hope and in the end cause a lot of harm to them.
1. They want to let go of you gradually
Some people want to be friends so that they can let go of you gradually. Chances are they do not want to lose you at once, so they put themselves in a position where they can let go of you little by little. They want to know what you are doing, where you are, who you’re with and whether you have forgotten them. It comforts them to know that they can still get you back at a moment’s notice.
2. They think it is a gentler way to end the relationship
Some people may not have any selfish reasons for wanting to be friends after a break up. Your ex may want to remain friends when they see you are hurting. Maybe they had a hard time deciding to end the relationship and feel even worse because they hurt you. Some ex’s will try all they can to make you feel better about yourself before they finally leave you. However, as much as his or her intentions are pure, you may feel downgraded and take their concern as an insult. Do not think like that, your ex just wants you to be okay.
3. They think it will make life easier
Another possible reason that your ex still want to be friends is, they think both of your lives will be much easier or less awkward. This can be true especially if both of you share the same friends, work in the same place and tend to collide in the same spots. By asking you to be friends your ex wants you to act or be nice to them since you are likely to meet often. This way neither of you have to miss out or hide from certain situations.
4. They are still in love with you
It is common for an ex to wish to be your friend because he or she still loves you. You may think that they have accepted the break up and just want to be friends, but this may not be the case. Don’t be too surprised when they try to kiss you just because they thought you had a moment together. It’s better to end such a friendship so that they don’t get the wrong idea.
5. Wants to be friends with benefits
Sometimes your ex just wants to have a physical relationship with you, without having to subject to any commitment. Do not fall into such a friendships especially after a breakup. You will just end up feeling used. If your ex truly cares about you, then friendship should be just that and not accompanied with benefits.
Just because your relationship failed it does not mean your friendship will as well. If you decide to remain friends with your ex, make sure you have no selfish motives in play. If you do then you will just end up hurting yourself or them in the end.
Read more in Easy Good Health
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija
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