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Kanye West, Maheeda, APC, Ruggedman: Ten people who need to grow up or get new medication in 2014

Nyesom Wike

We are tired. Dino is a bonafide agbaya and a pointer to why fathers should not spare the rod in the upbringing of male children. How was he ever a student unionist? Great men are usually measured by the way they treat those around them who can cover up and cement any cracks for onlookers not to see. His wife-beatings, infidelity and the ultimate Osar-worthy staging of a failed assassination attempt put the man on this list. One can’t be wasting precious Google Alerts on him, so we advise him to take therapy and find a new set of sycophants who will at least proofread his posts before they go online.

Here’s our pick- ten celebrities who need to grow up or get new medication and stop fooling around on social media.

Asides whatever he is being paid in his capacity as National Publicity Secretary of the party, you get the feeling that APC’s Lai Mohammed gets royalties and a host of other fringe benefits for every word penned down in every press statement released. He does his job with the utmost conviction of a man of faith and such an alarming frequency that it is no wonder the president’s bulldogs reply amiss. But shackling the opposition for any and everything from Dame Patience Jonathan’s gaffes and every presidential fart that proceedeth out of Aso Rock is annoying. Defending some of his party members for the most obvious of fouls is also disgusting. We think he and Joe Igbokwe need to calm the heck down.

Ruggedman

Wike was for the better part of the year, Amaechi’s rival and gradually emerged as a strongman in Rivers politics. When you get the president to your side and make it cumbersome for a governor to govern in his domain, then you know you have arrived. His tactless statements directed at university lecturers during the strike ought to be in some hall of fame and it is a mark of the incompetency of most of the players in government that he’s still in office.

For a rapper, who at his peak was being compared with Mode Nine and the rest of rap royalty in the pre-MI Abaga era, writing a shabby press release over N100, 000 for a gig smacks of hunger and the quest to regain relevance. After his spat with Alapomeji Records owner, 9ice and that wonderful diss record (And The Beef Goes On), we’ve not heard a decent record worthy of downloading since. Let us not even forget his struggle to be verified on Twitter. Shut us up in 2014, Rugged. Prove us wrong.

Turning up in some Victoria’s Secret wear could be next on Ye’s to-do list after he attempts conquering the world. Such is the predictable unpredictability of the man. From comparing himself to Mandela to ranting about not getting enough Grammy nominations, the man was on a roll this year. After the experimental disaster that was Yeezus, heaven knows he needs to channel all that talk into making good music in 2014.

Kanye West:

Otherwise, she could actually stroll to the appropriate quarters in Amsterdam where she resides, and get a real job doing what she apparently likes.

Rivers_State_Governor__Rotimi_Amaechi__ThisDay_

Maheeda:

We love his speeches and the occasional faux pas but Governor Rotimi Amaechi Chibuike really needs to shut up in 2014. Playing the victim and mudslinging are really stale tricks, even if they still work to an extent. He may have driven himself into a political wilderness with his demeanour and many misguided statements, if the APC loses out in the next guber elections in Rivers State and the possibility of him running into exile looms large.

Maheeda YNaija

It has been suggested in some quarters that he is using drugs and/or going insane. Not that we give a hoot but in 2014, we need no FFK soundtracks to the thriller movie that is the Nigerian political sphere.

Skales:

Dino Melaye:

Doyin Okupe

The right to freedom of speech has been abused the world over, as every Tom, Dick and their neighbour, Harry want to air their views on any subject, just because of the decreasing cost of internet subscription and the increasing relevance of social media which can make extremely minor issues viral.

APC

Grown men do not leak nudes of former partners, but what do you expect of a celebrity who wears a blouse to public functions, rather than a T-shirt? John Raoul needs to be grow up, focus on improving his music and fashion style and fulfill this potential; the hunger seeping from him during the Heading for a Grammy days has long dissipated and he is still in the shadows of Wizkid, Banky W and the rising Niyola, at EME.

Femi-Fani Kayode:

Sigh. This is a lost case, really.

Always stirring up controversary along political and ethnic lines, this one. After he was shamed by Bianca Ojukwu for claiming an imaginary relationship without being able to provide proof, he moved on to offer opinions on everything under the sun, all in a bid to find some sort of relevance. In saner climes, he would have been bound hand and foot and dumped in some prison whose existence and location is known by the SSS and the National Security Adviser alone.

Ruggedman

She might have a decent body, but this ‘gospel’ singer isn’t promoting the gospel of decency. If anyone has ACTUALLY listened to any of her songs and does not gnash the teeth or shake the head in pity, then s/he would do well to advise Maheeda to dump the camera and get into the studio.

Rotimi Amaechi:

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