Marriage success advice: 4 things to do when your spouse doesn’t want children

One spouse may be willing to have kids while the other doesn’t, they go ahead and get married then problems begin arise due constant arguments about starting a family

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Couple talking in bedplay

Couple talking in bed

(Corbis)

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As weird as it sounds, some couples nowadays just get married with no intention of starting a family even in the nearest future.

On the other hand, one spouse may be willing to have kids while the other doesn’t, they go ahead and get married then problems begin arise due constant arguments about starting a family which puts a strain on the relationship.

There are certain ways to approach a partner who doesn’t want to have kids without getting into an argument, making the situation worse than it already is.

Diana White of Womanitely lists 4 things you can do if you find yourself in that situation.

  1. Let your partner know that you can’t imagine your life without kids: It’s important to be honest with your partner. Tell him directly that you can’t marry a man who doesn’t want kids, no matter how much you love him. Be honest and don’t hide your feelings. If he truly loves you, he will try to understand you and explain to you why he doesn’t want a baby. After all, couples should always talk about kids before tying the knot. Just don’t be afraid of the breakup. It’s better to end up your relationship now (if he wants it) than to regret for your mistakes and wasted years.

  2. Don’t push your partner: It’s so easy to ruin your relationship, but do you really want to be filled with remorse till your dying day? If you love your partner, you should try to understand him. Maybe he’s been going through a really hard time now. Maybe he has some financial problems. Or, maybe he lost a child a few years ago and he is not ready for a new baby. Don’t push him and don’t talk about kids every single day. Figure out the reason and try to close the subject for several months. Chances are that he will appreciate your understanding and patience.

  3. Give him time to think: If you feel like he is getting angry, stop your discussion. Give him a few minutes to calm down and think over your words. Fighting is not the best way to handle the situation. Because of his anger, he might not even remember your words. When you speak calmly and you give your partner time to think and to speak, it’s much easier to understand each other and reach agreement. Explain to your partner that kids won’t be a burden to him and your relationship won’t change. Moreover, remind him that when he will be old, children will take care of him. Discuss all of the benefits of having kids and let him time to think. Hopefully, he will change his mind and you’ll soon have a sweet little bundle of joy.

  4. Discuss financial issues: If your partner doesn’t want a baby because of money, try to discuss financial issues together. While having a baby can put a dent in your family finances, it’s not the end of the world and it’s still possible to save money and live your life to the fullest, but with kids. You need to learn how to manage your money properly. Sit down and discuss your financial issues together. Maybe you can’t afford a baby this year (it’s a great idea to pay off all your debts before having kids), but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have kids next year. However, if your partner doesn’t want to spend money on kids at all, when he actually can afford a baby, that’s another problem to discuss.

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