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Try something new: 7 tips to get over a guy you can’t be with

by Teresa Fata

black depression unhappy

We’ve all been in a situation where we can’t be with the guy we like and instead go in search for tips to get over a guy. It’s not always the least painful process, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a relatively quick process!

Whether you’re simply reminiscing on the agonizing days of trying to get over a guy you can’t be with, or are currently in the situation and looking for tips to get over a guy, I assure you that something on this list will resonate with you.

1. ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT WHY YOU CAN’T BE WITH HIM

This is one of the first steps to truly getting over a guy you can’t be with, and one of the most important tips to get over a guy. Acknowledge why you can’t be with him. Maybe he’s in a relationship. Maybe he’s completely shut you out. There are a nearly infinite amount of reasons why you can’t be with the person you want to be with. Acknowledge and accept your reason, and moving on will be worlds easier.

2. TRY SOMETHING NEW

It sounds cliché, but take up a hobby. I’ve personally found that the hobbies I enjoy the most are hobbies that I loved as a kid. I loved to read as a kid, and I’ve recently rediscovered that I still love it. If you loved to paint growing up, try painting again. Maybe you played an instrument really well while you were growing up, try it out again. Whether it’s a new hobby or a recently remembered hobby, finding something to do will help get your mind off of the guy you can’t be with.

3. STOP TALKING TO HIM

Cut him out of your life as best as you can. Don’t text or call him, and if he texts or calls you, be polite, but don’t go out of your way to be overly friendly. You need space to heal yourself. Many people often argue that you have mutual friends and it’s nearly impossible to avoid him. If that’s the case, try to avoid some events you know he’ll be at, and don’t spend a substantial amount of time focused on him at the events you do both end up at. Eventually, as your feelings start to dissipate, you’ll notice that it’s easier and easier to hang out with him and you won’t have to cancel so many plans!

4. LET YOURSELF BE UPSET

It’s okay to mourn your relationship, even if it may not have ever been a real relationship. Give yourself some time to “grieve.” It will completely streamline the entire process of getting over him. A lot of times, people try to bottle up their feelings when they’re trying to get over a guy. Whether you prefer to be upset in the company of your friends or on your lonesome, make some time for yourself to be upset over the end of a relationship with someone who was important to you.

5. PUT YOUR FEELINGS TO GOOD USE

Try to do something constructive with your feelings. If you’re a writer, write about what’s going on, whether in the situation or simply what you’re feeling. If you’re a songwriter, try to get a few good songs out of the experience. No matter what your passion is, you can probably find something constructive to get out of what may currently feel like a horrible situation.

6. STOP CREEPING

It’s not always easy to stop creeping via the internet on the guy you can’t be with, but it’s necessary. Whether you decide to stop cold turkey or you just gradually find yourself checking up on him less and less, it is necessary for you to stop internet creeping to get over him. If you’re still searching for his Facebook and Twitter accounts everyday, you’re not over him. If you need to, you can even hide from your Facebook newsfeed. If you need an extra boost of motivation to quit, just know that Facebook keeps a log of every person you search for. It’s only visible to you, but finding that log is not always a pretty sight, and can easily get you to stop web stalking the guy you can’t be with.

7. FIND SOMEONE NEW

It sounds so ridiculous and stupid, but sometimes you just have to find someone new. Whether it’s something as simple as an unattainable celebrity crush, or someone new asks you out, sometimes all it takes to move on is having someone new in your life. There may even be someone who’s been under your nose this whole time who you’ve never noticed!

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Read more in All Women Stalk

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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